I recently decided to meet up with a guy whom I had only
spoken with online. We had mutual
friends, and he seemed interesting enough, but really, I admit, half of me
agreed to hang out with him because of the fact that he is somewhat famous and
the child of celebrities, as well.
Part of the appeal of living in LA is that I am intermittently put in
normal situations with people who are somewhat not so normal. I truly convinced myself that I would ignore
any hype and get to know him as a person, not let the celeb appeal sway me to
feel any different about him than I would feel any other young, rich, slightly
ego-swelled kid. I was also
convinced that it would be cool if I could make him fall in love with me, just for fun. I was reminded upon our initial
interaction that, oh yeah, I can never make anyone fall in love with me. Sure, I’m not hideous and I have a
certain quality that has been described to me as an “awkward charm,” but it
started to seem completely unrealistic that by being myself, I could
somehow romance the pants off of a total babe six years my junior, much less
someone who parties with supermodels in Europe. Despite his age, I’m sure he is quite knowledgeable of the
multiple manipulating tactics of women, and has acquired his own arsenal of strategies
himself. I’m not sure if earnestly
discussing philosophical thought, incessantly quoting writers, or occasionally
letting me notice that he was staring at me with piercing blue eyes are some of
those devices, but as the night progressed, I became a little frightened of the
idea that, instead of him falling in love with me, I would definitely be in
danger of falling for him if this kept up. Eventually, after several hours of not making out, he made
the small move to share a blanket with me on his friend’s couch he was crashing
on. He then fell asleep spooning
me, leaving me wide-awake listening to the rain, wondering if I even liked this
guy enough to fall asleep with my make-up on (break-out city!), if I was doing
this to prove that I could hang out with pseudo-celebrities or that it didn’t
even matter, would I want to be around him in the morning if I did fall asleep,
if we would ever fall in love or at least kiss, if I was even being pursued
to begin with or if I had merely been used as a temporary distraction to his
apparent ennui. I slipped out of
the spooning position, gathered my things, and set out into the rainy night in
a car I was borrowing from a friend.
A strong scent of expensive men’s cologne had taken over the car and I saw
he had left a button down shirt on the passenger’s side floor. Upon returning home, I sent him a text saying he had left a “manly
smelling shirt in my car,” to which he replied “Haha cool!” I have not yet received a reply to my text,
“want it back?” I am going to
assume, he does not care.
Monday, December 24, 2012
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